During the summer I had the fortuitous opportunity to attend the 2011 She Speaks conference and one of the guest speakers was fellow Canadian Ann Voskamp. She is the author of one thousand gifts and also writes the blog a holy experience. I have not read her book however, I have been reading her blog and decided to join the weekly conversations. Monday’s theme is ‘Multitude Mondays’ when we reflect and share about the gifts in our lives. Wednesday s are ‘Walk with Him Wednesdays’ when we post on topics posted by Ann to share our “spiritual practices that draw us nearer to His heart”.
Currently the discussion is reflecting upon Hope. Over the years, I have hoped for many things. As a child, I hoped for the fighting to end, for our mom to be healthy and for her not have to take any more trips back to ‘mental’ hospital, for the food money to last until the end of the month and for the love and approval of the authority figures in my life.
In my twenties, I hoped to finish my nursing degree at the University of Calgary and find a job in my home town of Calgary, Alberta, Canada. I graduate in 1992 with my Bachelor’s of Nursing but due to socialized health care reform; I ended up moving almost three thousand miles from home to accept a job in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
Since graduation, I hoped to find my soul mate, a man who would love me forever and have the fortitude to stay. In 2000, after 12 hours of delayed flights in Chicago O’Hare, my plane departed for New Orleans. On that flight I meet the southern boy with the Catahoula grey eyes who did not ask me out on a date and on August 23, 2008 two days before my 40th birthday we were married.
As you see, over the decades hope has taken many forms in my life. After too many doctor appointments to count, more tests than I care to remember and a multitude of medications our current hope even after being told we will never be able to conceive, is to expand our family and fill the halls of our home with the laughter of children.
In all the years, hope for me has never been about getting what I want but about being able to see the gifts in the process and believing that it is not my plan that matters only how I respond to the opportunities that I am presented with. In November 2010, I miscarried after a FRET (frozen embryo transfer) it was a first pregnancy for us both; after the grief of our loss subsided I knew in my heart that it was not all for nothing. I knew then and now know with every cell in my body that my husband and I were meant to share the experience of losing a child. It is not the outcome that we had prayed for, yet we know that it was part of God’s plan for us. We turned to Him with our pain and it brought us closer to each other and we continue to hope for the miracle only He can deliver.
I would love to hear your story of Hope. Thanks for coming by, Melody