Driving into work this last week my thoughts have been wandering back to a blog I saw on the (in)courage link I found on Proverbs 31 Ministry page about a sponsorship to the Relevant conference in October 2011. I have been working hard at trying to talk myself out of applying by telling myself that even though I like to write I struggle way too much with the mechanics of writing. It was not until I was an adult that I gained the insight as to why I always seemed to struggle with school. For the longest time I was terrified that I simply lacked the intelligence to succeed, this fear stemmed from the messages I received and most of my childhood memories involve a lack of self-esteem and self-worth that stem from these comparisons.
Like most children I never noticed the differences and what was missing, but due to my circumstances I grew up quickly and somehow managed to keep a sense of wonderment. My family was different, it was the mid 1970’s and my mom was struggling to live with mental illness and raise two children on her own because my father set out on his own. I have always felt that not only was I struggling to keep up, I was fighting to keep my mother’s secrets. One day in my mid 30’s I stumbled upon elementary school book that my mother crammed our childhood memories into. To my surprise when I looked at my elementary report card I was stunned to see that I often missed more days of school than I attended any given year. Puzzle pieces started to fall into place and I gained insight into the source of my struggles.
I am submitting a request that you visit my blog to consider me for the newbie sponsorship and it is my desire that with your mentorship and my growing knowledge about Faith and technology my blog will evolve into one that helps to raise awareness and encourage others to look differently at their lives and how to be service oriented. I recognize that I may have the heart and life experience but desire will only get you so far and again I find myself lacking an essential foundation.
- Why partner with me? This maybe the number one reason I have tried to talk myself out of applying. How can I convince you that I deserve the sponsorship if I cannot convince myself? I am a new Christian trying to find my way and not only is my knowledge of the Bible that of a novice my understanding of it is even less. Recently, I signed up for daily devotions to facilitate my growth and today I received “Philippians 2:5, “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.” (NIV)” – we all have a story to tell and I pray that you may help me find my voice to tell mine.
- I named my blog more and enough because as a hospice nurse I witnessed my personal struggles to be a universal human experience; we all want more from life but deep down we ultimately need to know we were enough when our time on earth is done.
- I have only had the courage to publish three posts and I have had a total of 60 views since I published my blog more and enough in March 2011.
- I hope that a partnership with (in)courage would help me to reach out to the world to spread the message that we do not have to become our worst acts and we are all worthy of and in need of God’s mercy.
Thanks for reading, Melody