I have been using my blog as a private journal for about the last two years since the fertility doctors told us that the only way we could have children is to use an egg donor. It has been a safe private place for me on the tough days to rant and rave and contemplate our options. It is also where I’ve learned to hear God as I reflect upon our struggle to have a baby and grow our family and today is my very first public post.
It was while I was reading over my private posts that I became aware of how powerful words are and how few people speak with intention. We often have such rehearsed phrases and responses that we don’t hear the other persons reply, sometimes we do not even hear the words coming out of our own mouth. With this awareness I first started to hear the unsaid and this is what I’ve heard myself saying to others to ease their discomfort with our infertility,”No we have not been blessed yet” – this then got me to wondering do I not feel blessed and what does it mean to be blessed?
According to the dictionary one of the definitions of “Blessed” is: Bringing happiness, pleasure, or contentment. So yes, we are blessed and the blessing that has been revealed to us through our struggle is we have learned to stop asking ‘why’ questions and have shifted to asking “what”.
What have we learn from this?
What are our options?
What does it mean to be a family and what are we willing to do to become parents?
We decided to pursue snowflake embryo’s and in September 2010 we were blessed with being selected as the recipients of two frozen embryo’s, after a month and a half of daily injections and oral medications we were ready for transfer. One of the embryo’s survived the thaw and was implanted and we received our first ever positive pregnancy test however, our joy was short-lived as a few short days later with repeat blood work we found out the pregnancy ended. It was during our time of healing that I first heard the whisper that our church needs an adoption ministry. We are currently saving to pursue adoption, so without a scholarship attending the “She Speaks” conference will not be in the budget for the next few years. Being selected as the scholarship recipient would enable me to nurture my faith and provide me with the skills and confidence to approach our church with the idea of an adoption ministry. So that we may share our story and journey while helping others in our church family fulfill their dreams of completing their family by adoption.
For those of you unfamiliar with “She Speaks”, it is a conference sponsored by Proverbs 31 Ministry. It gives women the opportunity to step outside their comfort zones and be with like-minded and spirited peers while making new friends, kinda like going to camp when you were a kid. The conference has three tracks: Speaking; Writing and Leadership development , so tell your friends and grab your colored pens, pencils, highlighters and check out Lysa’s blog for scholarship details and Proverbs 31 Ministry for conference information by following the links provided below and hopefully we will get to meet in Concord, North Carolina in July.
Live your passion, Melody